So I wrote this post back in October— or sometime ago. I can’t even remember that’s how long. But then I sat on it and didn’t publish it. Why? Because of fear. I give up in the face of fear. However, this perfectly makes the point I was suggesting in this original piece. So maybe I’m glad it happened.
Alright, alright, so here it goes. This is Jenn— just writing. And now just posting…
Today I’m just writing about how hard it is to just write.
Why is that? Since grade school I’ve known I wanted to be a writer. I really wouldn’t even say “wanted”. I was a writer. And I knew it even as a small child.
Yet here I am 43 years old and still struggling to do the thing. There have been so many attempts over the decades to start a consistent habit of writing and then to turn that habit into something that produces good work that will eventually lead to being paid to do what I love.
The only thing that is consistent about all of that is how often it comes to a screeching halt nearly as soon as I get my wheels going. It is defeating. It is frustrating. I am tired. I’m frankly ashamed to admit how many times I have given up and restarted and given up and restarted.
But here’s the thing: I can’t stop trying. It’s incredible and somewhat fascinating how I keep trying. I’m starting to understand that I need to write. And I cringe in saying this— I must write whether it’s any good or not.
Whether anyone is listening or not.
Whether I ever make money from the art or scribbles (whichever describes it best) I create.
Not long ago, I was pondering on these thoughts and basically asked myself — Is there a place where I can write just for the sake of it? Some place where I can collect my words? Somewhere digital where others could see it if they wanted to but if they didn’t…eh, well?
Then I came across Substack. It’s basically the rebirth of blogging and I’m here for it. Now I have a place and space where I can just write. I have a place for my stories.
my poems
my reflections
to grow my skills
and most importantly to process my healing.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if my work or my journey resonated with you? What if it clicked with others struggling to just write or just do whatever it is their creative hearts desire? I know I can’t be the only one stuck in this loop. The I-want-this-but-can’t-seem-to-follow-through loop.
So this newsletter is really accountability to…me. To the gift of writing that’s been given to me.
“Just Write, Jenn” is here so that I will JUST. WRITE. But maybe it can be an anthem for you too. If so, please join with me in combating whatever it is that holds us back…
perfectionism
fear of failure
negative self-talk
self-sabotage
you name it — it’s out there to stop us.
Here’s something I’ve learned to be true over my years of life…Putting yourself out there requires bravery but most often gifts you with a tribe.
There I did it. Now, let’s see what happens.